So it's certainly a happy day, for happy people to be happy. Can you feel the love? I sure can. As a matter of fact Let me step out to celebrate.............................
.....................................I 'm back and no longer interested in writing. Go figure. Well at least I'm already on a site with video games........

So. I'm making this post solely on the basis that I could no longer stand to look at my vulgar april folls post. Since I'm practically the only one that has to look at it everyday, i figured I better change it since I hate it. So enjoy the new post themanthelegend, you've earned it. Man, I get strange late at night. Maybe there is a full moon... I'm like a Were-Freak.Wait.. what?

adult god king shit fuck pussy cunt love hate evil rich sex america newgrounds china death life birth violence freedom loyalty motherfucker asshole dick balls. that there is my april fools post. its just gross and rude now, used to be cute...

I am very happy to see much change. But bright red make manlegend want to kill. Incites fury in an otherwise friendly heart. Most dishonorable. In all seriousness i actually like the red, but I really hope its gone soon...

-Read me. Be careful.
-I bite not.
Hi with people,

There are 3 nose hairs for you in Tahiti with chili and beans. (They're genuine collector's items). Big Bird says... You are for 17 or Fred Flintstone. New England Telephone. In order for you to live and die at the same time you must bring a herd of icebergs to graze on the grass in the Sahara Desert. Bob surfs on water. THREE MILLION TREES will infest your belly-button if you don't clean it every tuesday and thursday at 6:33 AM. If you ask every resident of Kentucky if you can touch his nose and poke his eye , you can have anything you want except for God's belly-button lint. And Madonna's cone bra.Why is your name not a number? There is a guru in Tokyo whom lives on a hut on Mt. Fuji. He cares. I don't. If your name was Wally Llama what would you be? Calcutta. Elephants all around. Major League Baseball's '94 slogan: No balls and a strike!!xq17lp2mostflri (writer died and fell on the keyboard). The quick brown fox jumps over the lazy dog. Lorena Bobbit plus John bobbit=4 Well mabye not. Polish people are cool because they never take showers. (thats a fact). They're cool, but they smell. If you live in Amoebaville than you must be an amoeba. ( UH-ME-BUH) Can you say that? Mine is a black hole. History is a force- I came before you to stand behind you and make this stupid speech that made no sense. Don't have a coniption fit. Okay? Okay. Bye now.
P.S. Bye
P.S.2 Bye
P.S.3 Bye
P.S.4 Did I already say bye?

- miss ya brother.

As the insanity gripped me I tossed around and fought it. I knew this was useless, but I did it anyway. My entire body was burning in agony, my muscles swelled and strained. I tried not to scream ,but what did it matter? I am dying and there is nothing I can say or do about it. Scream, don't scream, the illness will kill me just the same.
The hours past but seemed to last years, my mind continuously screeching for help.What time is it? I am growing too confused to understand the clock in hospital room. Suddenly the walls are melting away all around me, and in it's place a jungle begins to arise." Hallucination," I muttered aloud in my pathetic pain ridden voice. Just as I said this a little white ball rolled out of my mouth.
It rolled at a perfect steady pace down my bed and on to the jungle floor. The sphere hit the ground and began to grow. To my horror and suprise the ball was soon the size of a small person and began to sprout what looked like arms and legs. A dark menacing eye appeared on its face, accompinied by a grin full of black teeth. Before I could say anything the ball widened it's grin and spoke " I am a virus and I make you ill, silently killing you and crushing your will. I will not leave until you are dead, I will just sit here and SCREW with your head."
" This is too much," I thought. My vocal response was more of a whimper." What do you want from me?" I asked.
"I'm doing my job day to day, immobilizing victims who get in Kings way." The smiling sickness answered.
" Who is King?," I asked nervously," and how am I in his way?" The virus responded by climbing, onto my hospital bed, which I had just realised I was still laying in. He sat and stared, and the more he glared at me the sicker I felt. Every part of me writhing and begging for relief.Finally I couldn't take it anymore ",WHO IS KING?" I yelled out with rage in my voice.
The virus studied me with his sadistic eye for a moment before his reply,"The King is my boss, anthat he does well, presiding as ruler over all those in hell."
" So what are you saying? The King is The devil or a demon or something?" I questioned having already heard the answer. " Well, how am I in his way? What did I do?" I began to get hysterical," Please, no more rhyming, just leave me alone." As I finished speaking a red mist blew out of the jungle all around us. To my left, out of the red mist, a figure appeared. It walked towards me and as the figure approached I realized it was someone who resembled a man with a black suit and darkly tinted sunglasses.He had a long braided goatee and even longer twisted yellow horns. It was not the devil I had always imagined, he was modern and more hollywoodized.
" Hello Jack. You have some questions for me?" King asked almost politely. I decided I best be on my manners as well ,and choose my words carefully.
"Yes sir, I do. I just wanted to know how I am in your way, and what can we do to resolve this matter?" I said with a friendlier tone than I would use with my own grandmother.
" How are you in my way?," King repeated," Very simple my boy you are useless. Niether good nor evil, not one of my army but still not good enough for HIM to protect." King annunciated the word him as he pointed up to the jungle canopy and to the sky beyond that.
"I... But I don't want to die yet...," fury rose up in me as I heard how helpless my voice sounded. That's exactly what I am at this moment helpless.
"Yes you are extremely helpless Jack, and like it or not ,you will soon die." King said this then gave the virus a little nudge with his elbow." Back to work my boy," after saying this the virus gave King a look of agknowledgement, shrunk down to its original size then swifly leapt into my open gawking mouth. I watched as King turned away from me and walked back to the red mist. He was just going to leave me here with this virus. This virus that was going to kill me, and there was nothing I could do to prevent it. I was going to go quietly without argument, and the world would keep spinning and never give me another thought.
"No," I said to myself as I stood up on my bed and cleared my throat. I mustered up every ounce of courage I had and shouted out threateningly,"I am not useless! I am a one man army ,and I don't need god's or anyone's protection. I will not just curl up and die! If you want my life, then COME TAKE IT!" At that moment, without even thinking I leapt from my bed aggresivly landing on King's back, and to my suprise knocking him down. Stradling his ribcage, I reigned down a storm of hard punches to the back of his head. He kicked up like a mule, violently flinging me from his back. As King stood up I saw a look of sheer anger on his face, and I realized two things. I had just pissed off the father of all evil, and I have never been in a fight.
The freshly starlted King now resembled a bull as he charged me ,headbutting me with the impact of a car crash. My legs lifted of the ground and I yelled out as branches bent and snapped off my body. There was wind rushing all around me as I crashed through the jungle with impressive speed. Finally a tree trunk solidly ended my aerial travel, shattering my spine. I could hear King running through the jungle at me and with a newly broken back I couldn't even get up to run away. My arms were still functioning and all I could think to do was feel around me for a stick to defend myself with. I gripped a long stick but couldnt tell if the point was sharp or not, I prayed for it to be. I waited patiently as the beast bounded toward me.
King appeared before me and began a walking pace when his eyes met mine." This could have been much more peaceful Jack. You could have laid in bed and just let go. Instead you chose the most drawn out painful death possible, and beleive me Jack your death will be exactly that. Excrutiating." King said in a tone of unwavering certainty. He looked at me laying there, and he smiled as his eyes drifted to the stick. He leaned in and asked" What have we here?,"mockingly.He came close to me and I jousted up at him, doing nothing more than managing to poke the devil in the ribs with a dull stick.
" Brave last attempt Jack," King said laughing,"Have you anything left to say before I begin? If so, I would speak now, while you still can."
"Yes.." I said with a whimper, then continued speaking just above a whisper," I'm very hurt, please come close to me, so at least someone will hear my final words." When I said this I was so quiet King was hardly making out my words but he could sense the submissiveness in my voice. He oblidged me and leaned in close for a better listen. As he bent down I used the momentum of his movement accompanied with the remainder of my draining strength to pull his head down. I put my mouth around his neck and sank my teeth in with all my might and will. Hot blood sprayed off my face so rapidly that it stang like a firehose turned on a crowd.
I closed my eyes and listened to King pound and sumble around, making frightened gurgling noises, shocked by his own imminent demise. I could think only one thing. It was an odd thought for the circumstance, but a thought that scraped and scratched my mind. King's neck... it tasted just like.... hospital food.
I opened my eyes and looked around me to see the dirty off-white walls of my hospital room.I then looked down at the tray on my lap," Meatloaf,...King's neck tasted like meatloaf." I sighed in disgust that after all that I was still laying in a hospital bed." Man I don't care if I'm dying, I'm never taking those meds my nurse gave me ever again."
" I think that's a good idea Jack," King answered.

Hopefully sooner than later myself and my collaborator Rorack will be releasing our first flash.Were hoping not to rush some piece of shit out there just to do something. Hopefully a little time and effort will earn us a daily top ten on our first submission. That's probably just wishful biting... eh I mean thinking....

Just wanted to comment on how much i love this site. So many of the games kick ass, and some of the user submitted content is adult swim quality. Theres some real talent on Newgrounds!